Photo by Yaroslav Shuraev

If you’ve ever looked at a program, course, or opportunity and immediately thought, “I don’t have time for that,” you’re not alone. Time scarcity is one of the biggest barriers mothers face—not just to joining programs like The School of Mom, but to prioritizing themselves in any meaningful way.

But here’s the truth that might sting a little: when you say “I don’t have time,” what you’re really saying is “I’m not making time.” And that’s not a judgment—it’s an invitation to examine what’s actually happening beneath that belief.

Story Follows State: The Neuroscience Behind Your Time Beliefs

There’s a concept in nervous system work that changes everything: story follows state. This means that the state your nervous system is in—whether you’re in a grounded, connected state or stuck in survival mode—dictates the lens through which you see the world and the unconscious beliefs you hold about everything, including time.

When you’re operating from a sympathetic (stressed) state, your beliefs about time might sound like:

• “There’s never enough time”
• “I need to maximize every moment”
• “Other people’s needs are top priority”
• “Time is a thief”
• “You’ll miss this one day”

Just reading these, you might notice your shoulders tensing, your jaw clenching, or a wave of anxiety moving through your body. These beliefs invoke that stressed, activated state—creating a vicious cycle where your nervous system state reinforces beliefs that keep you stuck in survival mode.

On the flip side, when you’re in what’s called a ventral vagal state—that grounded, connected state—your beliefs about time shift dramatically:

• “When I slow down, time slows down”
• “I am exactly where I need to be”
• “I can go at my own pace”
• “There’s always enough time for what matters to me”
• “I trust the cycles of nature and my body”

Same person, same 24 hours. Different nervous system state, completely different experience of time.

The Real Issue Isn’t Time—It’s What Matters to You

I’ve spent a lot of time over the years trying to convince women that they have time for nervous system work, for self-care, for healing. And honestly? I’m entering a new era where I no longer have time to convince you that you can make the time.

Here’s why: you do have time. You make time for what matters to you.

If your child had to go to the hospital, would you make time? If your best friend lost a parent, would you show up for the funeral? Of course you would. Not because you magically found extra hours in the day, but because these things matter enough to become non-negotiable.

The question isn’t whether you have time. The question is: what matters to you right now?

Do you want to be more present and compassionate with your kids? Do you want to feel grounded instead of constantly defensive and reactive? Do you want more joy and playfulness in your daily life?

If those things truly matter to you, then it’s time to stop believing the story that you don’t have time and start examining the nervous system state that’s creating that story.

My Own Time Scarcity Wake-Up Call

This past year, I wrote a book. Hours and hours and hours of writing. And I can never, ever say again that I don’t have time—because I made time for something that was deeply important to me.

Before I started, I had all the same beliefs: “When will I find time for this? I don’t have time to write a book.” And yes, there were seasons where it genuinely didn’t make sense. But when it became a priority, I found the time. I made the time.

The same is true for my non-negotiable self-care. I now have specific time blocked on my calendar in a dedicated color. I don’t have as much friction around scheduling it or defending it to my partner, because I’m laser clear on how it’s part of my job as a mom and business owner—to stay in a body that is grounded and open and isn’t losing my shit all the time.

This clarity came from working through my beliefs about worthiness, what I deserved, and what I’d “earned.” And now? I have no guilt around it. No shame. My relationship with time has fundamentally changed because I addressed the source—my nervous system state—not just the symptom.

The Mom Program: Integration, Not Addition

One of the biggest concerns I hear about Mothering Ourselves Mindfully is: “This sounds great, but when would I fit it in?”

Here’s what makes this program different: this is not another thing you have to add to your overwhelmed plate. It’s about changing how you move through what you’re already doing.

But to do that, we do need to pay attention. We live in a crisis of attention—everything demands us to move sooner, quicker, faster. But real change at a nervous system level has to happen on its own pace. You can’t multitask your way to nervous system regulation.

For the eight-week program, we’re asking you to show up for four live small group integration calls (your choice of Monday at noon or Thursday at 1pm Eastern) and watch four teaching replays within the week before each integration call. That’s four live hours and approximately four hours of replay watching spread over eight weeks.

If you can’t make time for that, then maybe this isn’t the right season for you—and that’s genuinely okay. But if you’re simply operating from the belief that you can’t make time, that’s your nervous system state talking, not reality.

When It’s NOT the Right Time

To be clear, there are absolutely seasons when joining a program like this doesn’t make sense:

• If you just had a baby (we actually offer a three-month maternity leave pause in our year-long membership)
• If you’re going through something acute like a move, major illness, or crisis
• If you’re in deep postpartum and need to just stare at a wall

But if you’re just in regular life busy—with kids in school, managing your household, juggling work—then guess what? Life is not going to stop being busy. There’s never going to be a perfect time. There’s always going to be something.

The Deathbed Perspective

Here’s where I’m going to go dark for a moment, but I actually think it’s grounding: imagine yourself on your deathbed. Look back at your life. Do you feel good about putting off your own healing and presence because you “didn’t have time”?

Research on what people say on their deathbeds is consistent: they never wish they’d watched more Netflix or scrolled social media more. They wish they’d been more present. They wish they’d had more time to play. They wish they’d lived more from that grounded, connected nervous system state.

Your Relationship with Time Is Workable

The beautiful truth underneath all of this is that your relationship with time is not fixed. It’s being driven by your programming, which lives in your body. And we can work with the body.

When you shift your nervous system state, your beliefs about time naturally shift. When you move from survival mode into that ventral vagal grounded state, suddenly “there’s never enough time” transforms into “there’s always enough time for what matters to me.”

This is the work we do in The School of Mom. And as a bonus for everyone who joins Mothering Ourselves Mindfully, I’m including our complete program “It Is Round Time”—which is specifically designed to help you rewire your beliefs and programming around time.

I believe this training alone is worth the price of the entire program. Because when you shift your relationship with time, everything in the ecosystem of your family changes. When you slow down, you set a different pace and tone for everyone around you.

Ready to Make Time for What Matters?

Say this with me: I do have time. I make time for what matters to me.

If being more present, grounded, compassionate, and joyful matters to you—truly matters—then it’s time to make the decision and get the support you need.

Registration for Mothering Ourselves Mindfully is open now, with the program starting the week of February 23rd. You can learn more at theschoolofmom.com/mom or book a call with me to talk through whether it’s the right fit for you.

Because here’s what I know: you deserve to live in a body that feels grounded. You deserve to be present for your life. And you absolutely have the time—you just need to make it.