Photo by Brett Jordan

I’m writing this from the other side of a decision that felt both terrifying and completely inevitable: I’m pausing my podcast.

Not because things aren’t working. Not because I’ve run out of things to say. But because somewhere along the way, the thing I created to be in real relationship with you started running on autopilot — and I realized I was on the hamster wheel I talk so much about helping mothers step off of.

That felt like information I couldn’t ignore.

The Moment I Knew

I was out walking in the woods when it hit me. I had my podcast gear in my bag — because of course I did, because that’s the routine — and I felt this wave of resistance I couldn’t push through. Not laziness. Not fear. Something deeper. A kind of cellular “no” to the polished, curated, content-wheel version of showing up.

So instead of recording a proper episode, I just… talked. Voice note style. The way I message the women I love.

And that, right there, was the message.

The Hamster Wheel Has Many Forms

We talk a lot in the School of MOM about the mental and emotional load of motherhood — the bedtime routines, the sports schedules, the witching hour that evolves as our kids do, the invisible labor of keeping it all moving. We create systems to manage it. We build structure so we can breathe.

But here’s what I’ve been sitting with: structure can become its own cage if we’re not careful. Routine can tip into mindlessness. And when something that was once intentional starts running purely on momentum, that’s when I know I need a hard stop.

I’ve done this before. Hard stops on social media when scrolling was running the show. Hard stops on alcohol when it stopped feeling like a choice. These weren’t dramatic declarations — they were moments of noticing that something had shifted from conscious to automatic, and choosing to pause long enough to ask: Is this still mine? Is this still true?

This podcast pause is the same.

You Can’t Change Direction While You’re in Motion

There’s a metaphor I keep coming back to: imagine you’re on the highway on cruise control. For a while it feels good — efficient, smooth, covering ground. And then one day you wake up on cruise control and realize you have no idea where you’re headed, and every exit you’ve passed has taken you further from where you actually want to be.

You can’t reroute a moving car with no exits. You have to pull off. Regroup. Ask yourself the real questions: Where do I want to go? What do I actually want to be driving? Is it even a car?

Einstein said we can’t solve a problem with the same energy that created it. I’d add: we can’t find a new path while we’re already sprinting down the old one.

The pause isn’t the problem. The pause is the portal.

Something Is Reorganizing

Here’s what I know is true for me right now: something significant is shifting. The parts of me that used to run the show — the people-pleaser, the perfectionist, the anxious overachiever — they used to be first to the wheel, every time. They set the route. They chose the destination.

And lately? Those parts are moving to the back seat.

My more alive, grounded, playful, expansive parts — what we call the Flourished Mother parts in the School of MOM — are starting to not just grab the wheel, but stay at the wheel. They’re learning it’s safe to drive.

But for that rewiring to stick, my behavior has to match. I can’t embody a new level of alignment while running the same automated content loop. I have to do what I’d encourage any of my clients to do: stop, feel into it, and let the next right thing emerge from that stillness rather than from momentum.

That’s what behavioral congruence means. And it requires an actual pause — not just thinking about changing, but being the change in real time.

Your Invitation

I’m sharing all of this because I’d be willing to bet there’s somewhere in your life where this lands.

Maybe it’s a commitment you’ve outgrown. A routine that once felt nourishing and now just feels heavy. A role you’ve been performing out of habit rather than genuine desire. A relationship, a job, a wellness practice, a way of talking to yourself — something that’s technically “working” but is secretly costing you more than it’s giving.

What would your hard stop look like?

Not a dramatic exit. Not burning it all down. Just an honest pause. A moment of pulling off the highway to ask: Is this still where I want to be going?

The women coming to my home this week for individual retreat days understand this. They’re not coming because things are falling apart — they’re coming because they know that a full recharge and a system update are what keep things from falling apart. It’s the difference between running on 12% battery indefinitely and actually plugging in.

You deserve that kind of reset too.

A Promise

When I come back to this podcast — and I will — my intention is that you feel, hear, and sense the upgrade. That the pause was worth it. Not just for me, but for the quality of what I’m able to bring to you.

Because if you’re giving me your time — during your commute, while you make dinner, on your morning walk — I owe it to you to show up with full presence, not just momentum.

So for now: take good care. Explore the back catalog. Take the quiz at theschoolofmom.com/quiz. And ask yourself the question I’m sitting with: What needs a hard stop so something better can come through?

This or something better. Always.