In a world that glorifies busyness and celebrates the hustle, mothers are learning to pause. And in that pause, they’re unlocking the superpower of mindful discernment and discovering that the act of bringing awareness to the present moment is radical.

Why Pausing Feels Impossible (And Why That Makes It Necessary)

If you’ve ever tried to pause in the middle of a chaotic day, you know it can feel like trying to stop a truck going 100 miles an hour down the highway. Your mind races with the endless to-do list, your body carries tension from rushing between tasks, and somewhere deep inside, a voice whispers that you don’t have time for this “mindfulness stuff.”

But here’s what that voice doesn’t want you to know: most of us are living on autopilot, driven by unconscious programming—patterns of thinking, feeling, and reacting that we’ve inherited from our families or developed as survival mechanisms that no longer serve us. When we pause, we interrupt these automatic patterns and create space between what happens to us and how we respond. In that space lies our freedom.

The MOM Framework: Meeting Yourself in the Moment

The Radical MOM Pause isn’t just about stopping—it’s about how we meet ourselves in that moment of stillness:

M – Meeting Yourself in the Moment: Bring intentional attention to your current experience, both internally and externally. Notice your body, thoughts, emotions, and environment with curiosity. Movement can be a beautiful bridge—rolling your shoulders, stretching your neck, or feeling your feet on the ground.

O – Observing What’s Present: Practice witnessing your reality with acceptance, kindness, and discernment. This isn’t about fixing anything immediately. You might notice tension in your chest and simply acknowledge, “I notice tension,” or recognize anxious thinking and observe, “Anxiety is here.”

M – Mothering Your Needs: Meet your needs in the moment. Sometimes, the act of witnessing yourself with kindness is enough. Other times, you might discover you’re thirsty, tired, or need to move your body.

Understanding Your Nervous System States

As moms, we’re experts at decoding our children’s needs, but when it comes to our own? Many of us are still learning the language our bodies speak. Your nervous system communicates through three primary states:

The Safety State: Your optimal state where you feel ease, warmth, and a general sense that things feel good.

The Stress State: Where anxiety thrives—you experience tension, racing thoughts, and the urge to stay busy or fight/flee.

The Shutdown State: The “I’m done” state—feeling depleted, checked out, and exhausted beyond physical tiredness.

Here’s the crucial piece: you can’t jump directly from stressed or shutdown to calm. You need to meet yourself where you are and work with your current energy. When you’re buzzing with anxious energy, try jumping, dancing, or fast movement. When you’re completely depleted, honor that state with gentle movement that gradually builds.

The Neuroscience of Change

Think of your current patterns as well-traveled mental highways. The neural pathways in your brain become deeply grooved through repetition. If you’ve been practicing routes of shame, anxiety, or negativity for years, these feel automatic and unchangeable.

The beautiful news is that neuroplasticity—your brain’s ability to form new neural connections—continues throughout your life. The pause is like pulling off at a scenic overlook, bringing your prefrontal cortex online and accessing what scientists call “response flexibility.”

When you pause and tune into your nervous system, you’re doing more than taking a breather. You’re consciously welcoming new response patterns, training your nervous system to feel safety in triggering moments, and literally rewiring your brain by creating new neural pathways associated with compassion and conscious choice-making.

Finding Your “Oil and Garlic”

Every mom needs go-to practices—simple, reliable tools that work regardless of which state you’re in. My personal “oil and garlic” are movement and getting outside. Yours might be three deep breaths and journaling, or calling a friend and taking a hot shower.

Remember the 75% rule: when you have time for self-care, spend about 75% of that time helping your body settle before attempting to be still. This isn’t a failure of meditation—it’s honoring what your nervous system actually needs.

Why This Practice Is Radical

Calling this practice “radical” isn’t dramatic—it’s accurate. In a culture that profits from our distraction and disconnection, choosing to pause and tune into ourselves is revolutionary. Every time we step out of unconscious reactivity and into conscious response, we create ripples of change that extend far beyond ourselves.

This isn’t just personal healing; it’s generational healing. When we break free from patterns of rushing, people-pleasing, or emotional reactivity, we show our children that it’s possible to move through life with awareness, that their feelings matter, and that taking care of themselves isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.

Starting Your Practice

The beauty of this practice is its accessibility. You don’t need a meditation cushion or five free minutes. Start with movement to anchor yourself in your body. Take three conscious breaths. Ask yourself: “What do I notice right now?” Allow whatever arises to be there. Then ask: “What do I need in this moment?”

Remember, this is a practice, not a performance. Some days you’ll pause frequently; others you’ll realize at bedtime that you spent the day on autopilot—and that’s okay too. The goal isn’t perfection; it’s growing awareness and developing a toolkit that works for your unique nervous system.

When mothers heal, families heal. The Radical MOM Pause might seem small, but small things done consistently create profound change. The revolution starts with a pause. Your pause. Right now.

Get my free Radical MOM Pause Toolkit here: https://theschoolofmom.com/pause