The Body Conversation We Need to Have

In our School of MOM community, we regularly have powerful and vulnerable conversations about our relationships with our bodies. As women—especially mothers—many of us struggle with how we view and treat our physical selves. We’re critical, resistant, frustrated, and always craving something different: to appear younger, to be thinner, to be stronger (but not too muscular).

If you’re a woman reading this, you’ve likely experienced a strained relationship with your body at some point. 

During a recent Monthly Musings class in FLOURISH, I posed several questions that I now invite you to consider:

• What is your current relationship with your body?  
• What relationship would you like to have with your body?
• What relationship do you want your children to have with their bodies?

For most women, there’s a significant disconnect between these answers. The way we currently relate to our bodies differs dramatically from how we hope our children will relate to theirs.

Models Matter

Perhaps the most eye-opening question I asked was: Who in your life models the relationship you desire with your body?

The responses were illuminating and heartbreaking. Many women couldn’t think of a single person—not a family member, friend, or public figure—who demonstrates a truly healthy relationship with their body.

This reality speaks volumes. If we don’t have models of body acceptance and appreciation in our lives, how can we learn? Instead, what many of us have witnessed are mothers and female role models making critical comments about weight, engaging in constant comparison, and expressing perpetual dissatisfaction with their bodies.

So… What IS the Point?

This brings us to the central question: Why does this matter? Why should we, as women and mothers, focus on healing our relationships with our bodies?

The women in our community offered powerful answers:

1. It’s exhausting to live in criticism. The mental and emotional energy spent analyzing, wishing our bodies were different, and resisting what is—it’s utterly depleting.
2. We are our children’s primary teachers. If we want our kids to have healthy relationships with their bodies, we must do our own work. What we say matters far less than what we model. Our children notice when we avoid getting into a swimsuit, make offhand comments about our wrinkles, or complain about clothes not fitting.
3. We deserve freedom and to feel GOOD. We deserve to look in the mirror with peace and joy rather than criticism and shame. We deserve to feel good in and at peace with our bodies!

Breaking the Generational Pattern

Another significant reflection on the question of “what is the point?” is: If we collectively struggle to identify even one woman with a healthy body relationship, then we get to be the models we never had.

This isn’t just about personal healing—it’s about creating generational change. You might be the neighbor, the mother-in-law, or the friend who demonstrates to someone else what a healthy relationship with your body looks like. You might be the one who helps someone else heal their own relationship with their body.

That thought gives me chills and resparks my motivation to turn towards myself and my body with mindfulness and self-compassion, one breath at a time.

The Mother Matrix: Understanding Our Conditioning

Our relationship with our bodies isn’t something we created in isolation. It comes from generations of women before us, cultural messaging, societal expectations, and patriarchal programming. This conditioning runs deep—it’s in how we think about our bodies and how we physically inhabit them.

That’s why we’ve created “The Mother Matrix,” a two-part series designed to help purpose-driven mothers explore their personal conditioning around their bodies and begin to consciously choose new programming—to step into a new matrix of their own creation.

Purpose-Driven Mothering

The women in our FLOURISH community are purpose-driven mothers. They might not always be clear about their purpose when they join us, but something burns deep within them—a connection to something bigger than themselves.

They understand that making time for self-care practices isn’t just about personal well-being; it’s about being part of a movement for change. It’s about breaking cycles and creating new possibilities for themselves and future generations.

Your Invitation

I invite you to return to the question “What is the point?” not from a place of defeat, but from a place of purpose and alignment:

• What is the point of making that therapy appointment?
• What is the point of joining a supportive community?
• What is the point of doing this challenging inner work?

When we connect to our deeper purpose, we find the courage to take aligned actions even when they’re uncomfortable. We break free from patterns of self-criticism that have been passed down through generations.

Because the point is: we are committed to walking this path. We are committed to creating a new way of being for ourselves and showing others what’s possible.

And that, my friend, is a purpose worth pursuing.