Garden Your Way to Motherhood Wisdom: The Plant, Nourish, Flourish Method

For years now, I’ve been blown away by how perfectly gardening and nature metaphors capture what we’re trying to accomplish in our mindful motherhood journey here in The School of MOM. This parallel process was illuminated yet again on Mother’s Day, when I spent a solid chunk of time tending to my own home garden.

The Community Garden of Motherhood

Think about this: What happens when you place your individual garden plot in a community garden? You surround yourself with like-minded individuals committed to growth and nurturing. You have more experienced gardeners to learn from and with. You have cheerleaders and a support system to help water your plants when you might be unable to tend to them. This is exactly what we’re creating in our motherhood community in The School of MOM —a space where your personal garden can thrive alongside others who share your vision.

When we join together as mindful mothers, we acknowledge that we are each gardens ourselves. We’re compilations of soil and seeds, some flourishing and some struggling, with weeds (ie. programmed patterns of thinking/feeling/doing) that occasionally need pulling. And sometimes, we need someone standing shoulder-to-shoulder with us saying, “I see and have those weeds too. Let’s work on pulling them out together.”

Before You Plant: Know Your Soil

Here’s where many of us get tripped up. We try to grow new habits—whether it’s setting better boundaries, making time for ourselves, or responding more calmly to our children—without first examining the soil these new seeds are being planted into.

What is this soil? It’s our nervous system, our subconscious programming, our deeply rooted patterns.

Just like I discovered a colony of red ants and slugs when digging in my garden, when we dig into our own soil, we often find patterns that would choke out any new growth: shame, perfectionism, people-pleasing, and guilt.

If you’re trying to become a “boundary boss” but your soil is wired for people-pleasing, those boundary seeds will struggle to take root. This is why mindfulness and self-compassion work must come first—we need to know what we’re working with.

The Art of Pulling Weeds

When I was weeding recently, I had yet another nature metaphor ah-ha. When I moved quickly and yanked aggressively, I’d only remove the visible part of the weed—the root remained hidden, ready to regrow. But when I slowed down, felt where the resistance was, and pulled with patience and intention, I removed the entire root. Which of course means that it will not grow back.

This mirrors our inner work perfectly. It’s tempting to want quick fixes: “Just think positive!” or “Say your affirmations!” But lasting change requires getting to the root.

An affirmation of “I deserve time for myself” won’t flourish in soil that contains the deep belief: “I only deserve rest when every sock is folded and everyone else is taken care of first.”

The Plant-Nourish-Flourish Cycle

We’re information consumers in today’s world. We listen to countless podcasts about making time for ourselves, responding calmly to our children, and setting boundaries. This is the “planting” phase—receiving information and setting intentions.

But here’s where most mothers get stuck: the nourishment phase.

We want the flourishing garden without having to water it. We want the self-compassion without practicing the pause and intentional kindness. We want the boundaries without having to tolerate the discomfort of setting them.

Nourishment in gardening means water, sunlight, and even kind words (yes, research shows plants respond to positive energy!). In our personal growth, nourishment looks like consistent practices: tuning into our present moment experience, self-compassion, rest, boundaries, pleasure, and community support.

Trust the Timeline

Growth is non-linear. It can feel random, and it definitely follows cycles. Just as we wouldn’t expect an azalea to bloom after three weeks (they take three years!), we can’t expect our deep-rooted patterns to transform overnight.

The most transformative part of this process is learning to trust that things are evolving even when we can’t see them yet. Our nervous systems and subconscious patterns take time to rewire, just as seeds take time to germinate underground before showing any visible growth.

From Growing to Flourishing: The Community Factor

Here’s the secret ingredient that elevates growing into flourishing: community.

Sure, you can plant seeds and nourish them on your own. But flourishing happens in community. Who wants to grow a beautiful garden with no one to share it with? Who will support you when your metaphorical zucchinis aren’t growing, when you find yourself being defensive with your partner despite all your inner work?

This is why our FLOURISH community exists. It’s where we collectively plant, nourish, and celebrate the blooms when they appear—and where we gently remind each other that it’s okay to begin again when things don’t go as planned.

Your Invitation to Flourish

As we move into summer, our FLOURISH community is closing its doors to new gardeners/members at the end of May 2025 to focus on deepening our work together. If you’ve been thinking about joining us, now is the perfect time to get in.

Don’t be like “every mom” who struggles with the nourishment piece. Join a community where women are seeing real shifts and have been committed to this work for years because the results are too good to walk away from.

Whether you’re keeping a kitchen basil plant alive or tending raised garden beds, you’re already a mindful gardener. The question is: are you ready to apply that same care, patience, and community support to your own growth?

The garden that is you is waiting to flourish. Will you tend to it?