As a therapist and mindfulness teacher, I’ve seen countless mothers struggle with the same challenge: finding time for self-care while managing the endless demands of motherhood. Between morning routines, work, after-school activities, and household responsibilities, adding another “practice” might feel impossible.

But what if you could transform your relationship with yourself and your daily experience of motherhood in just one minute?

Enter the MOM Ritual – a simple yet powerful practice that has helped hundreds of women in my community move from surviving to thriving in their motherhood journey.

What is the MOM Ritual?

The MOM Ritual is a practice designed specifically for mothers to help them mother themselves mindfully. This simple acronym captures three essential steps:

M – Meet yourself in the moment with curiosity 

O – Observe what is present with discernment, acceptance, and kindness 

M – Mother yourself by meeting your needs in the moment

Let’s explore each component:

Meeting Yourself in the Moment

Think of this first step as pressing a gentle pause button on your day. This pause is crucial because we spend most of our time in mindless, unconscious loops. While these automatic patterns can be efficient, they can also keep us stuck in unhelpful patterns.

When we consciously pause, we activate our prefrontal cortex – the “human” part of our brain responsible for conscious decision-making. This gives us what neuroscientists call “response flexibility” – the ability to choose our responses rather than react automatically.

Unfortunately, when we’re stressed (hello, motherhood!), our prefrontal cortex can go “offline,” leaving us at the mercy of our more primitive brain regions. This is often when we find ourselves snapping at our kids, making snarky comments to our partner, or diving into endless chores instead of taking care of ourselves.

Observe What is Present

Once you’ve paused, become a curious observer of your experience. This isn’t about judging or trying to change anything – it’s simply about noticing what’s happening internally and externally.

You might observe:

• Physical sensations (tension, tightness)
• Thoughts floating around your mind
• Emotions present in the moment
• What you can see, hear, smell, or touch
• The behaviors or affect of people around you

This step creates space between stimulus and response, allowing you to gather information about your current state before taking action.

Mothering Yourselves

This final step is an invitation rather than a requirement. Sometimes, simply pausing and observing is enough – and that itself is “selves”-care!

If you do notice a need wanting attention, it might be:

• Physical (water, bathroom break)
• Self-compassionate or helpful self-talk 
• Deep breaths and a hand on your heart
• Reaching out to someone you trust/love

The beauty of this practice is its flexibility. You can:

• Do just the first M (the pause)
• Complete the first two steps (pause and observe)
• Move through all three components

To set yourself up for success, try linking it to activities you already do daily such as:

• Putting your feet on the floor in the morning
• Brushing your teeth
• Sitting down at your desk
• Getting into your car
• Waiting in the school pickup line

Remember: There’s no “wrong” way to practice this ritual. Even a moment of conscious awareness can begin to shift ingrained patterns.

While the MOM Ritual takes just a minute or less, its effects ripple through your life in profound ways. Regular practice can help you:

• Respond rather than react to challenges
• Identify and meet your needs before burnout
• Model self-awareness and self-regulation for your children
• Create moments of peace amid chaos
• Build a more compassionate relationship with yourself

Motherhood doesn’t come with a pause button, but the MOM Ritual offers something better: a way to meet ourselves with curiosity, kindness, and care, even in our busiest moments. By taking just a minute to check in with ourselves, we can transform our experience of motherhood from one of constant doing to one that includes moments of being and conscious awareness.

Ready to explore more ways to mother yourself mindfully?

Take our quiz at theschoolofmom.com/quiz to discover your dominant inner voice and how it might impact your ability to stay present and regulated in motherhood.